That said, dating is tricky, and can be hard to navigate. Sometimes we need a little help spotting those first date red flags (the ones that should make us stop in our tracks and run for the hills) and the opposite of red flags, green flags (the ones that serve as signage that this one may be a keeper).
So here’s a list of some of our first date red and green flags to help you navigate that big old sea of fish.
Watch out for some of these red flags.
First off, if the person you’re supposed to meet up with isn’t who they say they are or doesn’t look anything like their pictures, this is a clear red flag that something is seriously amiss. Catfishing isn’t cool. Being lied to hurts.
As a general rule, anyone who is rude to waiters or waitresses or bartenders on a date (or just about any social situation) is a huge red flag. Snapping fingers or waving a dismissive hand at a waiter, or a snide remark is totally uncalled for since most wait-staff are probably just trying to do their best to get a decent tip. Also, if we’re real, all that being rude to wait-staff gets you is spit in your food. No thanks.
It’s one thing to mention that you just got out of a serious relationship and aren’t sure what you’re looking for, but it’s another thing to completely bash your ex on a first date. No one wants to go out with someone who trash talks their exes in case they might one day be one of those exes themselves.
No one wants to go on a date with someone who’s always negative. It’s the first date, keep it light and fun.
Everyone has a different comfort zone with strangers, and people who aren’t considerate of your boundaries aren’t worth your time. Be straight and clear. If you’re uncomfortable for any reason, then make sure they know it too.
If you’re on a date with someone and they can’t seem to take their eyes off their phone or are constantly distracted, then being on that date is clearly not their top priority, and shouldn’t be yours either.
On a first date, asking tons of questions and feel like you’re not learning anything about the person you’re with? They’re probably avoiding answering your questions. Keep in mind that they might be doing this by asking you lots of questions too. Keep the learning mutual. Otherwise, something might be up.
Here are some awesome signs to look for that indicate that your date is stellar and may be worth exploring, otherwise known as first date green flags:
here is nothing better than going on a first date thinking you’ve been hanging out with someone awesome for the last hour, and then you both realize it’s actually been three hours.
It’s one thing to have a few butterflies on a first date, but you shouldn’t be sick with nerves or anxiety. Nothing makes a better date than being comfortable spending time with the other person.
Getting to know someone works the best when the conversation just flows. Minimal awkward pauses, blank stares, or long silences are a good sign that you’re getting along.
Laughter is an excellent sign that the date is going well. First dates should involve exchanging funny stories, and making each other laugh. If that’s happening, you’re off on the right foot.
You don’t need to have all the same interests, but having a few things in common helps keep the conversation flowing and gives you options for more dates. Both of you are avid hikers? Check out a new trail together. Both of you like to cook? Take a cooking class together and make something yummy.
If you’re on a first date and you’re already planning a second date, then keep following those green flags. They might be a keeper.
Happy dating!
