The term “dating” is thrown around quite often, especially when you consider that it doesn’t have a clear definition.
People describe relationships in different ways, making “dating” a grey zone in terms of relationships. Some people might describe dating as “going out” or “being with someone”. Others might use the word “together” or “seeing each other” and some would say dating means you’re “hooking up.”
It’s become a catchall term and that can make it tough to define.
Throw in the fact that things like speed dating, matchmakers and dating apps are all commonplace, and dating can seem like a strategic game rather than a way to meet a future partner.
Whatever label you decide to attach to it, what’s most important is that you and your partner are on the same page. Meaning that you should both accept the same definition for your relationship.
Chances are, if they’re occupying your thoughts, you’re occupying theirs. Spending time together is great, but dating someone you love is even better.
“The definition of dating shows us that there’s a difference between dating someone and just dating. ‘Dating’ means you’re going on dates,” said Colleen Haley from Zoosk. “You are actively getting out there and meeting people and spending time with them. ‘Dating someone’ means you’re seeing somebody specific, with purpose and on a regular basis.”
Here's a trick. Ask yourself, how you introduce each other.
Do you hesitate before introducing him or her to your friends? Did you see the person you're with stumble a bit before finally saying, “this is so-and-so?”
If you’ve noticed that they hesitate a bit before introducing you (in a good way, of course!) it might be time to define the relationship (DTR for short). And it doesn’t have to be simple hesitation. Maybe you were chatting with a friend over coffee and slipped up by referring to them as your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you did, it’s a pretty good sign that there’s something more there.
Next, it’s time to look at how you communicate.
If you’re seeing someone casually, they probably don’t occupy your thoughts. But if you find yourself reaching for your phone to send them a text, that’s a good sign that there’s more than just a spark. Maybe they call you on your lunch break to talk about how work is going or they send them a message to complain that the line at Starbucks is ridiculously long this morning. If you’re messaging each other on every messaging and social media app on your phone, you might be more than “just friends.”
More importantly, ask yourself how you feel about dating?
Chances are, if they’re occupying your thoughts, you’re occupying theirs. Spending time together is great, but dating someone you love is even better.
While you can’t say that everyone in a given country dates exactly the same, it’s safe to say there are some cultural differences.
The ambiguity of dating that we see in North America can also be said about France.
Paris may be nicknamed the City of Love, but they also have a pretty laid-back approach to dating. INSIDER recently reported, the French don't even have a word for "date" — instead, they prefer to say something like "I'm seeing someone" or “I’m going out with someone.”
This also allows people to avoid the awkward conversation of defining the relationship as the mere act of going on dates (sorry, "seeing someone") generally means that you're exclusive to someone.
The same can be said about Spain, where people don’t necessarily “date.” According to Living Language, there isn't a word to describe the act of dating — the closest translation is the verb salir con alguien, which literally means "to go out with someone."
Most Spaniards live with their parents until marriage, but don't expect to meet their partner's family until things are serious (that could explain how they managed to score third place on The World Dating Report).
Totally contrary to North America is New Zealand, where online dating is practically non-existent.
New Zealand is one of the few countries that lacks enough people to keep dating apps popular. With so few potential matches, the “traditional” way of dating is still in style. Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble run out of potential matches quite frequently due to lack of activity so, if you’re searching for “the one”, you might want to try a local coffee shop.
