The person you were so enamoured with won’t return your calls, you haven’t received a text in days, and they’re not responding to you on social media.
You’ve gone from constant communication to crickets in a matter of seconds.
There’s a pretty good chance that the person didn’t move to a cabin in the woods with poor wifi and little to no cell service. It’s more likely that they ended the relationship without bothering to give you a reason, or any notice at all.
In other words - they’ve ghosted you.
Ghosting is the ultimate form of the silent treatment.
It is the abrupt ending of communication with someone providing zero explanation. It usually refers to disappearing acts that happen in romantic relationships, but can also refer to friends or co-workers. According to a 2018 study, roughly 25 percent of people reported being ghosted in a romantic relationship, and 22 percent admitted that they had ghosted someone in the past.
One could argue that it’s a potential risk that comes with modern dating but it can also be painful, leaving someone with a sense of betrayal. And let’s be totally honest, it’s totally cowardly and plain rude.
“Swiping culture reduces humanity to something quite basic,” said author Rosie Walsh, who was inspired to write her novel “Ghosted” after a friend’s boyfriend went from planning a vacation to cutting-off all communication. “When you’re rejecting 200 people a night, it dehumanizes the dating pool in which you stand,” she says.
So what makes someone cut communication with another person? Or disappear from someone’s life with no room for discussion?
Simple. It’s an easy way out.
There’s no drama, no tears, no questions and no awkward goodbyes. You don’t have to justify your behaviour, nor deal with anyone’s feelings. And sure, the ghoster may have avoided a potentially awkward and uncomfortable situation but for the ghosted, there’s no closure and a heap of unresolved emotions to sort through.
There’s a pretty good chance that the persondidn’tmove to a cabin in the woods with poor wifi
Unlike with traditional breakups, where social cues such as a change in atmosphere and spending less time together are very real; there’s an ambiguity that makes it next to impossible to determine why the relationship came to an end. A scenario where, for most, ignorance is not bliss.
Instead, you’re left to wonder “what’s going on” with no idea where things went wrong and how you could have prevented it. How can you be expected to react when you receive no social cues or fully know what happened?
Not to mention, with social media’s constant presence in our lives, your ghoster is still likely to make an appearance. Maybe they’re physically gone from your life but they’re still very much visible.
You’re a gem - let your sparkle shine. Don’t let some insecure person tell you how feel about yourself!
How do you move on when you still see their photos popping up on your Instagram feed? Or gain closure when you constantly go through old photos and text messages saved on your phone?
It’s important to remember that if someone ghosts you, it says WAY more about them and their lack of courage and emotional discomfort than it does anything about you. They saw it as an easy way out and didn’t bother to give you the courtesy of an explanation.
In an interview with Bustle, E-harmony’s resident relationship expert Dr. Seth Meyers said you should, “remind yourself of people you know who experienced a breakup but actually found someone later who was better for them.” He continued: “Take a quick mental inventory of the traits you like most about yourself. Understand that these traits aren't changing anytime soon and that others will continue to find them attractive, too, in the future.”
In other words, don’t let someone else’s poor choice in break-up strategy rob you of any future relationships. By failing to say anything at all they’ve made it loud and clear that they’re not mature enough to maintain a healthy relationship. You’re a gem - let your sparkle shine and don’t let some insecure person tell you how feel about yourself!
If you’re looking for a modern dating app, that doesn’t allow for ghosting, check out Wandure, where a match = a date.
