Or, you know, lying. It was originally coined by Hinge, and simply put is a way of presenting yourself on a dating app in an unrealistically positive way.
Everyone is guilty of exaggerating their dating profiles. You want to put your best foot forward, right? May you put a little too much enthusiasm into how much you like the outdoors in your bio or posting a selfie with a very specific angle or lighting. Kittenfishing takes that to the next level.
It could mean using photos racked with edits and filters or outrageously outdated selfies. Or lying about favourite hobbies, talents or accomplishment in your bio. Suggesting you’re over six feet tall when really you’re pushing it by saying 5’10. Or posting a picture with a kitten when you don't like cats at all. It really refers to anything that might lead people to think you’re someone you’re not.
"On a basic level, kittenfishing is ‘catfishing light’,'' said Jonathan Bennet, founder of Double Trust Dating in an interview with NBC.
It becomes a vicious cycle really — imagine having low confidence and being in a competitive dating world. Not only are you not high on yourself but you also worry that others will steal your future wife or husband."
He said, "While you’re not pretending to be another person, you’re still misrepresenting yourself in a significant way. This could include photos with deceptive angles, lying about numbers (age, height, etc.), photos from years ago, wearing hats if you’re bald, or anything else that makes you appear radically different than how you would show up in person."
Online dating is competitive and it’s much easier to hide flaws in the virtual world than in person. So telling a few white lies or using a filter on a photo might seem like the best way to increase your chances of finding a match.
If you’re currently thinking over which pictures you uploaded to your dating profile (is that photo from 2 summers ago really representative of you?) there are a few ways of figuring out whether or not you’re guilty of kittenfishing.
First ask yourself: “would someone be surprised by my appearance if I met them in person?” We all have good angles or strive to take photos in the best lighting, but are you intentionally hiding the way your body looks?
Once you’ve decided your photos are truly representative of you, look at your bio and the way it’s written. Did you have someone help write your profile (may be your really witty friend who wrote something you never would?)
Did you list hobbies that you aren’t really into? Skating around Lac aux Castors doesn’t make you the next Sydney Crosby. Or are you exaggerating your job position or field of study a bit in order to seem more impressive?
"We perceive and believe that if we show the real us, we will get little to no 'bites’,” said relationship coach and founder of Maze of Love, Chris Armstrong, said in an interview with Bustle. “It becomes a vicious cycle really — imagine having low confidence and being in a competitive dating world. Not only are you not high on yourself but you also worry that others will steal your future wife or husband."
If you’re still not sure if your profile is genuinely representative of you, ask your friends to look it over. If they suggest removing photos from your profile or changing the wording of your bio there’s a pretty good chance you were exaggerating a thing or two. If your friends don’t even recognize you, how will someone you’re meeting for the first time?
Behind kittenfishing is a desire to be a better version of yourself. So, if you notice that you’re including “loves the outdoors” in your bio (when you absolutely do not) maybe that’s your subconscious telling you to get out of the house more. You probably won’t be able to grow to taller than 6 feet but you can definitely spend a few extra nights practising figure eights at Lac aux Castors.
